July 15, 2006
Net neutrality...
and... that... word
(c) copyright View from Silicon Valley, 2006. All rights reserved.
My
college room-mate and I used to split up the phone bill every month. I remember one time, we had an extended "disagreement"
on the split. We went back and forth, and eventually whittled the dispute down to $0.01.
In between laughing
hysterically, we kept arguing over this penny for at least 20 minutes. Obviously, even to broke students, the penny
wasn't the point. Somebody had to be wrong! Another person on our dorm floor came in and literally threw a penny
at us hoping it would shut us up.
"We don't want your penny!," we shouted. "That's not the point! It's
a matter of who is 'right' and who is 'WRONG"!!!'" In those days, not only was neither of us EVER wrong, we refused
to even say... that word. Oh, come on. That word! I just can't think of it. It starts with a "ruh"
sound. I just can't think... of... that... word. Can you?
I was reminded of this story yesterday after
an extended joust with the phone company. I think it's kind of funny and, believe it or not, there is a point at the
end (besides who is "right" and who is... Oh darn, what... is... that... word!?!?)
View from Silicon Valley uses AT&T,
formerly SBC, formerly PacBell, etc. for DSL. Somebody in their marketing department finally got a clue and stopped
pricing DSL based on what they imagined it was "worth" and instead priced it to compete with alternatives. (What a concept!)
June,
2006 marked the expiration of our latest agreement at $26.99 /month.
On June 02, 2006 we called to renew and get the
latest "deal":
VFSV: "What are the latest DSL deals now available?"
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
"$14.95 for DSL when you also buy three 'advanced' features on your main phone line."
VFSV: "How much
are the feature."
AT&T/SBC/PacBell: Extended commercial for CallerID, call waiting, etc. finally
followed by the charge: $11.26.
VFSV: "But that's basically the same as the current $26.99!?!"
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
"Oh, really?" (Like this was news!?!)
Of course, AT&T/SBC/PacBell pushes the bells and whistles on their
land lines. Their cost vs. that $11.26 is only pennies per month. They are probably the highest-GP items offered.
Of course, telecom conglomerates only want to serve customers with competitively-priced services. It's just a happy
coincidence for them when market-competitive DSL charges are only available when you also buy over-priced landline telephone
"services."
VFSV: "So $26.21 is the best I can do?"
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
"Yes."
VFSV: "So a new customer can get DSL for $14.99 but I have to pay $26.21 if I want your
DSL?"
AT&T/SBC/PacBell: "Yes."
I decided to "pass" and see what else was out there.
After all, our line was "conditioned" and we have a paid-up wireless router on-hand.
As often happens, real-life intruded
and nothing happened from my end... until the new phone bill arrived.
Inside an envelope prominently offering $12.99/month
for DSL service on the cover was our DSL bill at $35.84. OK, now I'm angry. In whose fantasy world is this anything
other than monopoly service?
Time for another joust with AT&T/SBC/PacBell customer service. We kept notes
and, after awhile, started tracking elapsed time:
July 12, 2006:
VFSV: "So why is it this bill
arrives with an offer for $12.99 but the actual DSL bill inside is $35.84?"
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
"Sorry, you chose the menu option, 'change service.' You need to talk to 'customer care.'"
VFSV: "Before
transferring, can you confirm there is a lower rate than $14.95 plus $11.26?"
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
In a hushed tone, as though he didn't want to be overheard, "Yes, there is an 'un-bundled' rate of $19.95 /month." His
script then told him to apologize "they" did not offer this option last month.
Then I went back on hold. When
I did get through to a live person again, I had to re-explain the history of my "problem" and re-explain account info.
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
"We offer the two different rates: $14.99 plus calling features, or $19.99 /12 months."
VFSV: "Sign
me up!" (Wow, this is going to be easier than I expected!)
AT&T/SBC/PacBell: "OK,
it will be effective July 14." (Oh, drat!)
VFSV: "Since I tried to do this last month
but wasn't given this option, shouldn't it be back-dated to June 14?"
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
"I'm not allowed to back-date. Talk to billing who can do this for you."
VFSV: "OK, transfer
me again."
AT&T/SBC/PacBell: "Have we done everything to satisfy you today?"
VFSV:
"No! (Duh!) You haven't fixed the billing problem."
Now I start tracking the time and find I'm already 30 minutes
in. Do I really want to keep going, even though my "problem" is down from $180 to only $15?
Ah, what the heck
it's a slow day. Let's get the last $15.
AT&T/SBC/PacBell: (sounding surprised) "They didn't take care of
that for you?"
VFSV: I re-explained the history and account info and then wait some more (now 33:32 elapsed
time).
AT&T/SBC/PacBell: "We'll give you $26.95 'as of June 14,' then $19.99 for 12 full months
beginning July."
VFSV: "But it should be $19.95 as of June 14." (Now we're arguing over $7.)
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
"But you get $26.99 then a full 12 months of $19.99."
VFSV: "But I want $19.99 'now.' It's
your error. You should fix it."
AT&T/SBC/PacBell: "I can't do that."
VFSV:
"OK, then transfer me to your supervisor."
AT&T/SBC/PacBell: "Sure, OK"
The
call goes on hold at 36:45 elapsed time. Five minutes later at 41:42, the hold music turns off. I assume the guy
surreptitiously hung up, forcing me to start all over if I want to pursue it.
However, it's reaaalllly slooow today
and I left the line open. At 44:59 the music magically turned back on. (Maybe after they saw I didn't hang up?)
At
46:53 elapsed (over 10 minutes on hold) the guy came back to advise his supervisor was on another call and he was still waiting
to talk to her.
At 52:55 elapsed (16 minutes on hold) "Richard" comes on for "David."
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
"Your DSL promo expired and David gave you $26.99 as a courtesy, for June."
VFSV: I re-explained
the scenario (fourth repetition now) and asked if he could confirm $19.99/month for 12 months was definitely an option last
month? (I had a weak moment and gave him an "out." If he claimed it wasn't available in June, how much more time
was I willing to invest to prove differently?)
AT&T/SBC/PacBell: "I'll check."
Back on
hold at 56:57 elapsed. At 1:00:30 elapsed:
AT&T/SBC/PacBell: "I went ahead and gave you
a $13.50 adjustment."
VFSV: "Why not $15? My calculator tells me $34.99 - $19.99 = $15.00!"
Now
we're arguing over $1.50!
Having spent over an hour on this call, I have a burning need to be "right."
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
"But there is a partial-month issue here."
VFSV: "How? Didn't I just pay the whole month at
$35.84?"
Back on hold at 1:02.33 elapsed time. He came back at 1:03:56
AT&T/SBC/PacBell:
"We re-adjusted you bill. I had input the wrong date so now your credit is $17.50."
VFSV:
"OK, thank you."
The call finally ended with 1:05:12 elapsed time.
Conclusion:
In addition to a loud and
clear message about having too much time on my hands that day, there are a couple relevant points:
AT&T/SBC/PacBell
offers DSL deals in reaction to competition. Earthlink starts at $12.95/month and you end with an annual cost of $21.45.
Verizon "gives" you a free month for a 12-month average of $13.70. AT&T/SBC/PacBell's $12.99/month "deal" was not
picked out of thin air.
Anybody who thinks AT&T/SBC/PacBell can be trusted to run a "neutral" internet that does
not, however coincidentally, line their pockets with excessive and/or hidden fees, is totally, completely and naively...
you know... that word. Starts with a "ruh" sound... Can you remember that word?
* * * * *
The
above is not intended as advice to buy, sell or hold any stock, bond, real estate nor any other financial product or service.
Invest at your own risk.
